Serving Through Spiritual Warfare
A Quick Disclaimer
Before I begin, I want to make something clear:
This is about my personal journey as someone called to serve.
I am not a marriage expert, and I will never write as if I am.
This post is not about marriage as a whole, but about my own role within it.
I am a wife and a mother, and those are two areas where I can honestly speak about growing as a woman of God who has been blessed with those titles.
Recognizing Spiritual Warfare
Over the past several months, the changes the Lord has been making in my heart have really begun to settle deeply within me.
As my discernment has grown stronger, so has my awareness of spiritual warfare.
Little by little, I have started recognizing the foreign voices and thoughts that attempt to stir up strife
Learning Servanthood
My husband loves movies.
And I mean really loves movies.
Me on the other hand? Not so much.
But lately, the Lord has been teaching me about servanthood.
He has been showing me that we are called to serve one another, but more importantly:
The way I serve is not determined by how my husband serves me.
It is determined by:
- the commandments of the Lord
- and how the Lord has served me
At the end of the day, I will answer for my own actions.
And I truly believe the Lord will look at how I served the first people He blessed me with:
- my husband
- and then my children
They are my first ministry.
What Was Hard for Me
I started asking myself:
“How can I serve my husband better?”
At first, the obvious answers came to mind:
- making dinner
- doing laundry
- buying groceries
But honestly, those things were easy for me because they felt necessary.
We need food.
We need clothes.
But what was hard for me?
It was showing interest in things that didn’t feel “necessary” to me.
Things that were simply for enjoyment.
And even deeper than that…
It was hard to serve when I secretly felt:
“I haven’t been served well.”
And if I’m honest, that thought usually really meant:
“I haven’t been served the way I wanted to be served.”
The Trap of Bitterness
Those thoughts led me into becoming:
- a stagnant wife
- and at times, a bitter one
I wouldn’t move unless he moved first.
I wouldn’t intentionally do the things that made him feel the most loved because I feared my own needs would go unnoticed.
The thoughts would spiral:
- “I”
- “Me”
- “Mine”
Over and over again.
And eventually, I became sick of it.
God Changed My Heart
I held tightly to what the Lord was teaching me.
And He truly gave me a new heart and spirit that desired to obey His commands.
That meant:
- intentionally serving my husband
- looking for ways to love him better
- even trying to out-serve him
Not because of what I would get in return—
But because I wanted to please the Lord.
Was it hard?
Absolutely.
And honestly, sometimes it still is.
But now I recognize the traps of the enemy much quicker.
A Real Example
Over the past couple of weeks, I started initiating movie nights with my husband.
That may sound small, but for me it was significant.
I genuinely wanted to do something that made him happy.
He loves movies, and I know he deeply enjoys spending time with me doing something he loves.
But after one particular movie, something shifted internally.
Suddenly, thought after thought began flooding my mind:
“It’s my turn to be taken on a date.”
“Hasn’t he noticed we’ve only been going to the movies?”
And the thoughts kept continuing with:
- “I”
- “Me”
- “Mine”
And immediately, I recognized the pattern.
I left the theater internally irritated and frustrated.
Recognizing the Enemy
But this time was different.
This time, I was wise enough not to direct my frustration at my husband.
Because the truth was:
He hadn’t done anything wrong.
And I realized something important:
The Lord does not speak to me through thoughts consumed with:
- selfishness
- entitlement
- pride
I thought to myself:
“When does the Lord ever speak to me in a way centered around ‘I,’ ‘Me,’ and ‘Mine’ like this?”
And immediately I recognized it for what it was.
The enemy.
I saw how ugly and destructive those thoughts truly were.
And it was time to take them captive and throw them out.
Taking Thoughts Captive
My husband noticed I seemed down and asked if he had done something wrong.
I reassured him that he hadn’t.
I explained that I was simply battling my own thoughts.
I prayed.
And shortly afterward, the frustration that had been building and building inside of me completely disappeared.
The Bull and the Rope
The best way I can describe emotions like this is through this image:
Imagine a raging bull has been placed inside of you.
You feel it raging in your chest and stomach.
And it is your responsibility to capture that bull and make it submit.
But all you have is a rope.
The thoughts you entertain in that moment determine whether:
- the bull grows stronger
- or the rope does
“In Your Anger, Do Not Sin”
The Lord says:
“In your anger do not sin.”
— Ephesians 4:26–27
In other words:
It is okay to feel anger.
But:
- do not sin in it
- and do not sit in it
Because not all anger is righteous.
And yes—even anger can be influenced spiritually.
Another Moment of Discernment
One day, I was sitting alone at the dining table writing.
The kids were asleep.
My husband was at work.
Nothing bad had happened that day.
But by the end of the day, I realized I had been carrying this quiet irritation toward my husband for no real reason.
When I finally sat down alone and truly reflected, it was like everything erupted at once.
Thoughts started flooding my mind rapidly.
What started as a small irritation suddenly became fiery anger.
And I remember asking myself:
“Where is this coming from? What even happened?”
And the answer was:
Nothing.
I was simply angry.
That’s when I felt the Holy Spirit direct me to:
- take those thoughts captive
- rebuke the spirit of anger
- and do it out loud
So I did.
I rebuked it and dismissed it from myself and my home.
And instantly—that anger disappeared completely.
Why I’m Sharing This
I share this because I know I am not the only person:
- battling spiritual warfare
- being transformed by God
- trying to grow in discernment
- wanting to please the Lord
Challenges for You
Prioritize Prayer and Self-Reflection
Invite the Lord into your self-reflection.
Remember:
He created you.
He sees all.
He knows all.
Go Out of Your Way to Serve Someone
Look intentionally for ways to love and serve others without expecting something in return.
Dive Into God’s Word
Spend time in Scripture and begin learning how the Lord truly speaks.